posted on 10 Sep 2023

Smut by Alan Bennett

What sort of images leap into your mind when you think of the subjects and writing style of Alan Bennett? Cardigans, fussing mothers, over-furnished front rooms, tins of biscuits, northern common-sense and a great big dollop of sly, wicked humour - some or all of these are probably on your list. But what about Alan Bennett the writer of sex and (as he subtitles his book) ‘unseemly stories’?

However hard it might be to adjust your mind to the thought, Bennett’s compendium of two short stories, Smut, proves to be a suitably wicked confection in which sex collides entertainingly with a good portion of Bennett’s usual suburban subject matter.

Bennett himself has said that the introduction of more explicit sexual content into his stories was an attempt to undermine the constant references to him as ‘cosy’ – but, in truth, he never really breaks out of that bubble despite the flirtation with voyeurism and bi-sexuality that make up ‘The Greening of Mrs Donaldson’ and ‘The Shielding of Mrs Forbes’.

In the first story, the widowed Mrs Donaldson fills her time and supplements her pension by working at the local hospital and acting out patient scenarios for trainee doctors. She finds she has a real aptitude for this kind of drama and has become something of a star turn – often it’s a make-believe world that feels more real to her than her own suburban life. But cash is short and so she decides her semi is big enough to take in student lodgers but when they fail to pay the rent, an unexpected arrangement is reached that brings voyeurism into Mrs Donaldson’s world.

There’s more acting in The Shielding of Mrs Forbes – this time when a very stupid gay young man, Mrs Forbes’ son Graham, decides to marry in order to conceal his sexuality from his mother and father. But Graham marries a woman who is not only older than him but considerably more intelligent – and then discovers that actually he rather likes his time with her. Graham’s father finds solace on-line with "a dusky beauty in Samoa (but who actually lives in Clitheroe)" and Graham’s real-life trysts end up with him being blackmailed by a gay policeman. Both will find that Graham’s wife can solve all manner of problems…..

Amusing as the stories are (and, sorry Alan but they are still cosy) they are undoubtedly slight and nothing much more than an aimable afternoon read. Not, I hasten to add, that this is meant pejoratively because there aren’t nearly enough beautifully well-written throw-away stories that entertain without insulting your literary taste. Sarah Churchwell, reviewing the book for The Guardian captures this precisely:

“If Smut is undeniably slight – it's not clear that these two stories, however amusing, really warrant stand-alone publication – it also offers plenty of Bennett's trademark pleasures. It would be too much to say that he's challenging himself, but the book is by no means lazily written and it's consistently amusing, full of witty turns of phrase…”

Paperbacks of the book are available cheaply on the second-hand market and you can expect to pay less than £5.

 

Terry Potter

September 2023